disaster barely 40 degrees but / the sun is out and the skies are blue so / i sit on my back porch in jeans and / a long sleeve shirt i / wrap my arms around myself when the wind comes on i / listen to the birds sing of what lies ahead / disaster for all i know but / these birds make everything sound so sweet / birds outside not silence but stillness not / stillness but the quiet rise and fall of / your chest in another room here are / the sounds your breath / somewhere my breath somewhere and the refrigerator with / its slow mechanical hum what does it mean to be / alone but not alone i close my eyes and / hear birds outside have they / been here all along / once the fear is settled the fear of death comes on less and less and / when it does i know what / to do i say honey / you’re here now and / that’s enough i / speak to myself this way / determined to be kind the kindness / soothes the panic and i find myself nodding i am / here now i am...